Just to illustrate how intelligent my conversations with Eric usually are…

Eric:[quoting] “Amy Winehouse postpones all concerts and appearances for the rest of 2007 to deal with ‘health issues’.” riiiiiight.

Nicole: if “health issues” covers anorexia, crack-smoking, knife-addiction, husband-shanking, bad weaves and generally horrible hygiene

Nicole: not to mention grossly overzealous use of eyeliner

Nicole: and the same pair of ballet flats she’s owned since 1971

Eric: yea, she needs some fixin. hopefully she will come back with a makeover of some sorts

Nicole: and some weight gain

Nicole: and new shoes

Nicole: and a de-flea’d weave

Nicole: release that family of scalp rodents into the wild

Nicole: and sell the knife set

Nicole: basically they just need to taze her

Eric: what?!

I understand the need to revamp the name of a long-standing hotel chain. But the decision to shorten “Howard Johnson” down to “HoJo”? Just a wee bit misguided.

Especially when your banner ad features a possibly non-clad woman clutching a hotel room pillow.

Workplace rant of the day:

Just because the toilet flushes on its own does not mean you don’t have to CONFIRM that all your funds have been deposited.

If I find another half-flushed toilet seat cover or an ass-mangled ball of TP floating in the commode I’m seriously going to have an unprofessional moment in a bathroom stall.