His heart and his pimp cane are in the right place.
Anyway, since we all come from different backgrounds I’ll just keep this post as short and commercial as possible: I need a FULL list of your gift haul this year. Every bauble, tchotchke and trinket. And the list better be GOOD.
No prizes or incentives will be awarded for the best list. You’ll just have to console yourself with the pride of knowing that your family loves you more than ours does.
………………………………………………………
Update, update, update, update: Eric fixed the feedburner issue.
………………………………………………………
Update, update, update: Looks like the comments issue is fixed but their might be some problems with anyone who’s using feedburner for updates. Eric’s gonna tackle that now.
Let me know if you guys run into any other bugs.
………………………………………………………
Update, update: OK, obviously everything ISN’T quite running smoothly. The blog has been transferred to the new host but we’re having issues with the comments section. Eric’s working on it now…the poor guy.
So as soon as things are fixed (for real, for real) I’ll post another update. Jebus, events around here are more up-to-the-minute than the evening news.
Anyway, sorry for the inconvenience. And back to those cornball sex jokes…
………………………………………………………
Update: So the site has been moved to the new host and everything seems to be running smoothly. But my blog appearances will probably be pretty sparse for awhile.
Eric and I are cooking up an idea to change the format of this blog to more of a forum-esque type shindig. We’re not 100% sure how the details will come together but basically I’ll post a short and (hopefully) thought-provoking idea or news article and you guys can have more of a discussion debate raging argument over the topic than you currently can in the comments section. You know, the kind of positive online environment I was aiming for in the first place?
Feel free to share your opinions of my little idea. Some may bash it while others may decide to be my friends.
………………………………………………………
A small boy wrote a letter to Santa Claus that read,” Santa, send me a brother.”
Santa quickly responded, “Send me your mother.”
====================
What is the definition of the mistress?
Someone that comes between the mister and the mattress.
====================
An angry husband asks, “You know what ‘WIFE’ stands for? Without Information Fighting Endlessly.”
Wife replies, “Wrong. It actually means, ‘With Idiot For Ever’.”
====================
What’s the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when your wife is pregnant.
Tension is when your girlfriend is pregnant.
Panic is when both are pregnant.
====================
A woman spots a man who is travelling with six children and asks, “Are all these kids yours??”
The man replies, “No, I work in a condom factory. These are customer complaints”.
====================
A young boy asks his Dad, “What’s the difference between confident and confidential?”
Dad says, “You are my son and I’m confident about that. Your friend over there is also my son but that’s confidential.”
====================
You might have already noticed that my blog’s been down a lot lately. That’s due to the fact that the poor guy who hosts my site has taken ill and isn’t capable of maintaining the servers anymore. Eric’s moving us to a new host but, until then, things might be a bit hokey. Unfortunately I won’t be posting often until things get straightened out.
But I’m still around.
DON’T LEAVE ME!
And just to keep you happy for a second, I’m posting a piece of prize-winning British poetry. It’ll knock your socks off.
====================
====================
Gwyneth Paltrow Denies Disparaging America
December 12, 2006
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow insisted on Monday that contrary to a recent article in a European newspaper, she feels “proud to be American” and would never compare her homeland unfavorably to Britain.
In a statement issued through People magazine’s Web site, Paltrow said she was “deeply upset” by remarks attributed to her by the Portuguese newspaper Diario de Noticias, which quoted the actress as saying: “The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans.”
“I never, ever would have said that,” said Paltrow, 34, who is married to British rock star Chris Martin, the lead singer of Coldplay, and resides part time with him and their two children in London.
“I feel so lucky to be American,” she said. “I feel so proud to be American.”
Paltrow denies giving an interview to the Portuguese daily, though she did speak at a news conference in Spanish, according to People.
“This is what I said,” Paltrow explained. “I said that Europe is a much older culture, and there’s a difference. I always say in America, people live to work, and in Europe, people work to live. There are positives in both.”
She added: “Obviously, I need to go back to seventh-grade Spanish.”
====================
See, that explains everything. You guys ought to be ashamed of yourselves — jumping to conclusions like that!
Meanwhile I’m super-worried about the missing father, James Kim. Last I heard they’d found bear tracks around that pair of pants he left behind. Oh dear…
Update, he’s been found. Unfortunately not alive.
