George O’Malley? Meet George Michael.

Study this man. Note that he’s not crying in hospital stairwells or pining for long, lost broads. This man decides what he wants. Then he just TAKES the shit.

If he wants a man? He comes out of the closet and dates the guy.

If he wants to get busted in a Beverly Hills bathroom? He exposes himself to an undercover police officer and gets hauled off to the clink.

If he decides he needs a late night drug fix? Well, er, read below…

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George Michael Is Reportedly Arrested

LONDON - Singer George Michael was arrested in London on drug charges after being found slumped at the wheel of his car, according to a British tabloid newspaper report.

A passer by contacted police after spotting the 42-year-old singer in his car in central London on Saturday night, the Sun newspaper reported.

Michael was arrested on suspicion of possessing drugs before being bailed to return to a police station next month. He was checked by paramedics but did not need hospital treatment.

A spokesman for London’s Metropolitan police, speaking on the customary condition of anonymity in line with force policy, would not confirm if Michael had been arrested, but did say that a 42-year-old man had been arrested on drugs charges after being found at the wheel of a car.

“We were called by a member of the public to a man seen slumped over the steering wheel of a car … Police attended and spoke to the man, aged 42. A search of the man revealed what was believed to be controlled substances. He was arrested on suspicion of possession of controlled substances of category C and on suspicion of being unfit to drive.

A spokeswoman for Michael’s agent, Connie Filipello, said, “We have absolutely no comment to make.”

In 1998 Michael was arrested for lewd conduct in a public toilet in Los Angeles after being spotted by an undercover police officer.

The whining in tonight’s episode of Grey’s Anatomy was at an all time high.

And this time it wasn’t coming from Meredith. Instead George got to narrate and, overall, whimper his way through the entire episode. By the time the clock hit 10:30 I was jonesing to shake him till his teeth rattled.

I usually love George and his uber neurotic, self-doubting tendencies. But tonight’s rendition of Little Boy Lost thoroughly irked me: “I’m in love with Meredith and I finally got the courage to tell her but she slept with me. Even though she’ll never love me like I love her, she still slept with me. How could she do that??”

Oh, stuff a sock in it George.

It takes two to frickin tango and by the looks of that little flashback interlude, Meredith didn’t FORCE you to do anything. What you needed to do instead of pouting your way through every wing of Seattle Grace was just suck it up, learn your lesson and take responsibility for your OWN actions once in awhile. Jebus!

Now you’ve split up the entire household since Izzie is taking YOUR side against Meredith over this. If you ask me, you should blame her for everything since SHE’S the one who pushed you to spill your guts to Meredith in the first place!

Anyway, I just needed to get that off my chest. I feel much better now, thanks.

There’s demanding. And then there’s THIS guy.

From The Smoking Gun:

His name is Travis Frey. He’s 33 years old. He lives in Iowa. And he’s currently facing charges of child pornography and kidnapping his own wife. Okay, disturbing enough.

But just as disturbing is the four page document entitled, “Contract of Wifely Expectations” that Frey wrote for his beloved.

This “contract” was meant to act as a kind of rulebook on how his wife should conduct her personal hygiene, wardrobe selection and sexual practices.

The entire contract is a little too demented wordy to be outline in one post. But here are a few, poignant highlights from Frey’s masterful bit of prose:
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HYGIENE & SELF-CARE
You will shave every third day which includes underarms, chest, legs and pubic area (navel to anus). All areas are to be completely clean shaven. Above your vaginal slit you may have a patch of pubic hair in any shape that must be centered above your vaginal slit, it will measure no greater than 2 x 1″ and will maintain a hair length of less than 1/3″.

CLOTHES & OTHER APPAREL
You will wear only thigh-highs and garters and only thong panties. The only exception would be during your menstrual cycle at which time you could wear either or both. Half of your shoe purchases will be high heels, 2″ or more. You will wear these heels more often.

SLEEPWEAR & SLEEPING
When we are at home and alone as a family you will be naked within 20 minutes of the kids being in bed and then sleep naked, unless instructed otherwise.

GOOD BEHAVIOR
Since there will be no trading, negotiations or conciliations of any kind, you are given chances to earn Good Behavior Days (GBDs). To receive GBDs you are to be totally compliant with everything requested or expected of you and perform everything with complete and total enthusiasm.

DRESSING UP
For special events that we are to dress up for when we are going to someone else’s house or just the two of us are going out, your clothes must meet my approval. General rules are:
* Panties are always optional and need not be worn.
* Only thigh-highs and garter — no pantyhose.
* If you are not wearing thigh-highs and garter then no panties.
* All skirts should be no lower than two inches below the knee (unless it’s for church).

BIRTHDAYS & ANNIVERSARIES
On your birthday you will recieve one GBD that is good only on your birthday. On or before my birthday you will select and purchase a sex toy for yourself and this will be considered my birthday gift from you. On or before our anniversary you will select and purchase new lingerie for yourself. The lingerie that you select and purchase will be your sleepwear for that night.

PHOTOS
You are to pose for 20 photos per quarter on demand unless your quota is filled. Outfits, toys and poses will always be chosen by me. You must be freshly shaven on the day that photos are taken, regardless of your shaving schedule. You will also style hair, apply makeup and nail polish as needed.
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Fortunately (for the dignity of women EVERYWHERE) his wife never signed the damned thing.

Mojo loves me.

Which is why he’s tagged me yet AGAIN. As you can see, I’m determined to take his multi-tagging as a compliment. I mean, why else would anyone be interested in my musical tastes??

Besides, this one is pretty interesting…

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List seven songs you are into right now, no matter what the genre. Doesn’t matter whether they have words or even if they?re any good. The only requirement is that they must be songs you?re really enjoying right now.

Post these instructions on your blog along with your seven song choices. Then tag seven other people to see what they?re listening to.
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So without further ado, here’s my musical Fox Force Seven (okay so it’s supposed to be “Fox Force FIVE.” You get my point):

1) Bring Light (Audio Bullys)
2) Right Here’s the Spot (Basement Jaxx)
3) Electric Mistress (Jamiroquai)
4) Dare (Gorillaz)
5) Second Childhoold (Justus League feat. NAS)
6) X&Y (Coldplay)
7) Enter the Sandman (Richard Cheese — no, I don’t mean Metallica)

By the way, I don’t really have a good explanation for WHY I’m loving these specific songs other than I just do. And here are the lucky 7 that get to relive this post all over again on their own blogs:

1) Tara
2) Red (she LOVES these)
3) Steve D (welcome to the family)
4) JM
5) Doug
6) Scarlett
7) Guru

For all those who have been chosen: PLEASE DON’T HATE ME!!!

Think you’re the mirror image of somebody famous?

Well there’s a genealogy site that might help you prove it. They’ve developed software that uploads your photos, runs them through a database of celebs and determines which ones most resemble you. Being the vain son-of-a-somebody that I am, I went and did it.

You should SEE who they’ve compared me with.

The first couple of times I tried it, they claimed that I was the product of an illicit triste between Meryl Streep and Michael Jackson.

The third photo garnered a laundry list of unlikelies (in descending order of resemblance):

Ninet Tayeb

Uma Thurman

Beyonce

Katherine Hepburn

Halle Berry

Aishwariya Rai

Christina Aguilera

Charlize Theron and…

JIMMY CARTER??!?

Uh, yeah.

Anyway, go ahead and give this thing a shot if you’re so inclined. Just don’t blame me when they liken you to a hottie like Janet Reno.